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ooc: inbox/plot with me
{sending crystal | notes & letters | personal visits}
Note: I work Mon-Fri and I'm basically away 11 hours a day but I do tags in gdocs and I try to do a round a night. Timezone is GMT.
{sending crystal | notes & letters | personal visits}
Note: I work Mon-Fri and I'm basically away 11 hours a day but I do tags in gdocs and I try to do a round a night. Timezone is GMT.
no subject
Oh, they definitely have viddathari around; Qunari converts, most likely elves seeking a better life whether they actually get it or not. They'd be less visible, sure, but there would be benefits to a Qun-raised Qunari spy, too. One raised from the beginning to pull off their operations? Yeah, they wouldn't pass that up.
[She looks down, shoulders slumping at the thought. If it is true, then Kas never had a chance.] I trust that Cole's being sincere; I don't really know that I'd trust him for anything else. Spirits don't see the world as we do; that can have benefits, but it can also be a huge problem. I don't think we can involve him further, anyway.
[Which means they need other people. She bites her lip, her gaze reluctantly meeting Araceli's for this more difficult answer.] Taas is sure that he would absolutely kill and worse to keep his cover; Qunari spies are trained to be utterly ruthless and single-minded. But we can't just leave this alone; people could die if we don't. [All that's very true, but her voice trembles as she hits on what's truly in her heart.] Kas -the Kas I know- is family, and I'll do anything to keep it that way. If he can be saved, we owe him that. But first we need another pair of eyes, to confirm what Cole felt. A Spirit Healer can give us that.
...this is why I need you, kadan. I-I can't think straight, not when it comes to the kid and Qunari shit and...all this. You know my first instinct is always to rush right in; that's not going to cut it, in this case. Taas is right, it has to be treated delicately or it'll explode. We need to make this work, somehow.
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[She doesn't want to think it's true. Hurtful as it would be, it would be simpler and easier to have it be a teenage boy choosing to carve his own path she thinks as she allows Lux to press his face up under her chin.]
He's already involved. He knows. You say spirits don't see the world as we do, how can you be sure how far it would spread or not? Would a spirit understand the same necessities as you or I? A bigger picture, that there are politics and lives and stakes? [Araceli's voice climbs but there's an irrational itch in her mind that has her curling her left hand because-- because it has a thing not a part of her, a thing that's the Fade, a thing that's connected to spirits and demons in some way.
(And there was a boy, wasn't there? In Skyhold once there was a boy who said something about more and connections and the song but her head hurts to remember it.)]
People could die if we do. [There isn't a pleasure in stating it as she reaches out with her right hand for Korrin but some part of her, the selfish part most likely, the part that does resent Thedas, resents being part of this war that's fed by a need for pettiness and spite and blood and people who cannot put their bitterness and vendettas aside and move on, doomed to repeat the past again and again and again drives it. The apology is on her face.]
The way I see this we have two options for part of it. You either tell people your suspicions which can allow for the possibility of it getting out not because they would talk but there is still that but because you cannot ever guarantee that there aren't ears though people knowing would mean they would know what to look for. But they would perhaps be at more risk if Kas learned. If they didn't know then they might not know exactly what to look for but it might not be seen as them putting him at risk. Though it might be betraying their trust anyway to put them at risk. I don't know. I don't know enough about the Qun and how it operates to understand it entirely but the more people that know a secret, the less safe it is.
no subject
She lowers her head and sighs.]
Dammit. I'll have to ask Cole if he's told anyone else. That's not something he needs to be spreading around, but he disappeared on me -literally- before I could ask.
That's what I keep thinking; either they remain ignorant and are fine for now, but could -literally- blow up in their faces later...or I tell them, and their lack of bard or Ben-Hassrath training makes them vulnerable. I don't want to put anyone at risk, or get Kas in trouble if this is something we can....
[...override, fix? How can they possibly fix this? There's a choked sound from her that attempts amusement but is more of a sob than anything else.]
That's the thing; Kas wasn't lying, that's what he knew to be the truth. That's what Qunari brainwashing can do, make you think you're a whole other person. He almost called me 'mom' once...and now I'm just a 'dangerous thing'. A saarebas.
...fuck.
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(Cole being able to just know pain...no. She shuts a line of thought down hard.)]
You could get yourself in trouble too. It would be a way to remove you from the picture, if Kas plays it smarter than we're giving him credit for at the moment. [Korrin being hurt isn't an option, Korrin being locked up or discredited or anything her mind is starting to conjure right now as she fights to stop her hand squeezing so tight it becomes painful and desperate instead of reassuring.] The Qunari too will not want to lose another agent.
[A dirty tactic but she isn't above them.]
Take off the mask and the mask is still your face. So. No Taashath. Ask him whatever questions you need if you still have them and if I have any of my own I will ask them of him as carefully as I can then we do not ask him a single thing after that because he is too obvious and he was part of the Qun. Too much of a risk. You will somehow get hold of this Cole and will tell him to keep his damned mouth shut about other people. With Sam...we can go together. Something about his fellow scouts and a girl, say we are worried but that we don't wish it to reflect when there is someone new in charge of him.
[It's something. Bare bones. But the words are there and they can figure them out better when the shock has worn off.]
He called me demon once. Then I was his friend. Not all doors are locked forever.
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[Araceli will have to squeeze a lot harder to get Korrin let go, as fear mingles with grief and she wonders just how she can protect the person who was Kas from everyone else. Taas, Sam...the thought of either of them coming to harm because of her twists her stomach, not to mention her kadan. She worked herself up into a panic based on that alone, the less rational part of herself nearly calling Araceli back to say nevermind, it was nothing. Though really, there was no keeping this from Araceli. Even if she thought that was best, the former queensguard and bard would have realized something was wrong the moment their eyes met.]
Taas said he would do some digging, though he didn't specify and I didn't ask. He never interacted with the kid that much, but you're not wrong, there are too few of our kind in the Inquisition for him to keep a low profile, even here. If he has something we can use, we take it...and he'll understand about keeping out of the rest, I'm sure. I hated asking him in the first place; he didn't leave that shit only to get dragged back in.
[But with no one else with Qun experience at hand, asking him had been inevitable. No more, though. Araceli's warning can't be in vain and Taas can't come to harm because she was being a panicky idiot. She nods at mention of Cole, making a mental note to seek him out as soon as she's calm enough. When that will be, who knows.]
So...Cole, Sam, and then we'll go from there. That's the start of something. Hopefully, Kas isn't up to anything other than watching and we'll have time to figure things out. The last thing we need is him speeding up a time-table because of us.
[Between a Qunari agent and a bunch of viddathari, whose identities aren't even known yet, they could do a lot of damage. Thank the Maker they at least have a common threat to keep their focus elsewhere...for now. And yet, she looks drained rather than reassured. Nothing will feel right for a long time.]
...can you just hold me for a while, first?
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[Letting go of Korrin's hand, Araceli gives the fox a gentle push that he complies with, picking up on her tone and that this isn't a time to try to play games with his mistress, not ow. There isn't much more she can think to say now that isn't really agreeing to the plan as they've set it out just now, or whatever bare bones they've sketched out as she crosses to Korrin's side.
Standing, she can tuck Korrin's head under her chin if she's mindful of her horns and how she stands, something she couldn't do if she was kneeling and any other time it's like that. No matter who's being comforted, if they're standing, Korrin will always be taller and Araceli will always be tucked against her. Now she can gather her up, pull her as close as she wants, murmuring nonsense, rubbing her neck, her shoulders, dropping a kiss against her forehead.]
Te tengo a tí, sirena